Horrible Woman

Today I got a pedicure. I was craving a little relaxation and Carrie time, plus my feet were crusty. Parts of my pedi were lovely--lemon-scented water and peppermint lotion, the massage was great--but I would rather have an inexperienced child pull out infected in-grown toenails with dull scissors than spend another minute with the horrible woman I sat next to today.  Maybe she's nice in real life.  Maybe she's a good cook and a charming hostess. I'm sure she loves her family and means well, but today she was horrible.

The last time I was in the spa, over a month ago, I was still happily (freaked out) pregnant with triplets.  I was in the early stages of acceptance, so after sitting too quietly for 30 minutes I loudly blurted "I'm pregnant...WITH TRIPLETS!!"  The whole room just stared at me for a second and then blew up with excited chatter.  They questioned me, cheered me, and shook their heads in shock and thank-God-it's-not-me-gratitude. These were the first people I'd shared my news with outside my family and it was exciting. These strangers and acquaintances were energized and for a few moments I ate that energy and thought 'I can TOTALLY do this!!'

Walking in to the spa today I knew I'd have to tell them the news about the twins.  It wasn't too difficult, but it was awkward.  I didn't make a big deal of it. When my nail tech asked how I was doing I simply said that I was only having one baby now.  I'd lost the other two.

The horrible woman turned, nosed in to the conversation, and said flippantly, "Well, everything happens for a reason."  Okay...that's okay, that's not horrible. People say that (or things like it) all the time and my wounds have healed over so I can take it for what it is.

What she said next was unforgivable, horrible:  "My sister-in-law gave birth to triplets and one of them only lived for two weeks.  I told her it was probably for the best 'cause I didn't know how she could take care of all three since two was like to kill her."

Really?  That's what you said?  You horrible woman.  How could any decent, thinking person ever tell a mother-who had actually held her tiny daughter-it was "for the best" that child had died?  Am I wrong?  Is there some excuse for this, some justification that makes it okay?  Understandable?

I wish I had been more outspoken, but my reaction was too visceral for words at that point.  I couldn't articulate, I just knew what she'd said was wrong wrong wrong. I should have said something, I wish I had, but I just gave a disgusted look and turned away.