I'm 37 weeks pregnant today--Baby C is FULL TERM! He is measuring 7lbs8oz (72nd percentile overall, 99th for head and belly!!, 60th for leg length). She could show up any day now to change our lives forever so I decided to write a list of Things I want to remember about my old life, when our new life begins:
1. It's not really a new life, it's a natural progression. I don't have to be a different person because I'm experiencing this huge change. I still get to be me -with my loud mouth and silly streak and weird observations- I don't have to try to be someone I'm "supposed" to be. I only have to add Mom to my resume and accept what that brings.
2. Doug and I were ALREADY a family. Even without Baby C. He is joining our family, not creating it. We did that together years ago. Our life together hasn't been simply the precursor for Making A Baby. It's been a good and fulfilling life. This is our next great adventure.
3. Some things are worth the trouble. Like fun. And dancing in the kitchen. And crayons. And clean sheets. And loving our pets. And getting a babysitter. And taking a walk. And asking for help. And travel. Some things are worth short-term discomfort and disorder for long-term gain.
4. Some things aren't worth the trouble. Like spotless floors. And clean sheets (if we're just too tired). And piano lessons at 8am on Saturday mornings. And laundry. And perfect attendance. And being on time all the time. And matching clothes. Some things require too much mental and physical effort. We're not shooting for perfection here, we're trying to have a life.
5. Pregnancy is wonderful. It's been more fun than difficult. Pregnancy has been worth the inconveniences. Even though I had to see the doctor a gazillion times and have heartburn and morning sickness and Restless Leg Syndrome and weird knee pain and didn't make it to Disney World one last time. Pregnancy has been a gift. Even though I had to mourn the loss of my other babies.
I've had an abundance of support and caring from so many people. I've made new friends (Kesha!) and relied heavily on my oldest. I've seen the very best in Doug: his love, excitement, hard work, and incredible patience. I've surprised myself. I've been both tougher and more vulnerable than I thought I could be. I'm ready to meet Baby C, but I'll be sad when this part is over...I hope I remember it.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Coming to the End/Beginning
I never thought I'd be this good at being pregnant! I prepared for cankles and pimples and back pain and bedrest, but -so far- I have few complaints. After the initial emotional and physical tidal waves of carrying and losing my twins, I feel pretty good. Now that I'm officially in the home stretch (I'll be 34 weeks on Monday and my doctor thinks Baby C will make his/her appearance at 36-37 weeks), I'm feeling a little sad this part will soon be over.
This has been one of the happiest times in my life. We aren't prepared enough (the nursery still looks like a defunct office and we don't have a pediatrician), but if this little one needed to come home tomorrow I know that Doug and I could handle whatever "he" may bring.
This pregnancy hasn't gone at all like I envisioned. I hoped to get the work and planning done during the second trimester so everything could be organized, functional, and seamless. But I quickly learned this isn't a party I can plan with a task list and some elbow grease. My plans aren't important and that's been beautiful (and difficult sometimes) to accept.
Instead Doug and I have become parents together, watching the little blob on the ultrasound screen become an actual baby squirming around in my belly. "He" has hair and chub rolls and a cute little chin (and maybe Doug's nose...poor kid!). Doug and I lay in bed together on Saturday mornings, when we *should* be choosing a stroller or assembling a crib, and marvel at the little kicks we both feel ('There is a PERSON in there! This is REALLY happening!'). There's no paint on the nursery walls and my new office is a mess, but I know my husband's fears at becoming a father and he knows why I cry every time I leave a prenatal class. I think we've taken care of the important stuff.
I think of myself as competent, independent, and strong, but now I see that I can allow myself to be taken care of. I can delight in the questions and attentions of my friends and family, accept help when it's offered, listen politely to advice I'll never take, and let others love my sweet Baby C as I do. This baby has already opened my life and melted my cynical heart, already changed me in some of the best ways.
And I didn't get CANKLES!! ...so far...
This has been one of the happiest times in my life. We aren't prepared enough (the nursery still looks like a defunct office and we don't have a pediatrician), but if this little one needed to come home tomorrow I know that Doug and I could handle whatever "he" may bring.
This pregnancy hasn't gone at all like I envisioned. I hoped to get the work and planning done during the second trimester so everything could be organized, functional, and seamless. But I quickly learned this isn't a party I can plan with a task list and some elbow grease. My plans aren't important and that's been beautiful (and difficult sometimes) to accept.
Instead Doug and I have become parents together, watching the little blob on the ultrasound screen become an actual baby squirming around in my belly. "He" has hair and chub rolls and a cute little chin (and maybe Doug's nose...poor kid!). Doug and I lay in bed together on Saturday mornings, when we *should* be choosing a stroller or assembling a crib, and marvel at the little kicks we both feel ('There is a PERSON in there! This is REALLY happening!'). There's no paint on the nursery walls and my new office is a mess, but I know my husband's fears at becoming a father and he knows why I cry every time I leave a prenatal class. I think we've taken care of the important stuff.
I think of myself as competent, independent, and strong, but now I see that I can allow myself to be taken care of. I can delight in the questions and attentions of my friends and family, accept help when it's offered, listen politely to advice I'll never take, and let others love my sweet Baby C as I do. This baby has already opened my life and melted my cynical heart, already changed me in some of the best ways.
And I didn't get CANKLES!! ...so far...
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